A Message from “Monsanto”
From the same company that brought you DDT (now globally banned as an environmental hazard and a severe carcinogen-our bad), Agent Orange (it’s definitely not our fault it caused over half a million birth defects in Vietnam-the government are the ones who actually used it.) and PCBs (really, how were we supposed to know they’d be causing cancer forty years after being banned?), now there’s Round Up ready GMO corn and soy beans! These babies have been genetically engineered to resist doses of glyphosate that by rights should kill everything green in its path. Of course, wild flora, your neighbor’s crops, your livestock and people aren’t genetically engineered to be immune, but that won’t be a problem because. . . because it won’t. Just soak your crops in the stuff, and you’ll never have to worry about weeds again. At least until they develop a tolerance and come back stronger than ever, but we’re working on that. In the meantime, just keep using more and more Roundup until you get them back under control.
Don’t worry about the residue, it’s completely harmless for everyone, including pregnant women and children, and it definitely does not cause cancer or serious birth defects. Ignore these people with their scientific facts and their reports available to the public. They’ve been out to get us since the first time we lied about the side effects of our products. But this is different.
Eat genetically modified, Roundup Ready corn and soy. It’s easy, because it takes up a massive, unlabelled section of the conventional food market. And we super-duper promise it’s safe for human consumption.
For real this time.
(If you would like to learn more about the side effects and hazards of genetically modified foods, and what you can do to keep your family ahead of the government’s learning curve, check out our education site here)
Topline Foods makes it easy to shop non-gmo foods. We offer the highest quality organic and grass fed beef, all natural and organic chicken, wild caught seafood and much more!